Comfort vs Courage: Week 2

Great job, Salty Blossoms! There are several actionable fears listed on the studio poster.

*Note: If you are having trouble thinking of a fear, shift the verbiage. Try asking yourself, "What do I avoid?" This will often point you towards a discomfort (fear).

As we shift into Week 2 of this challenge, I want us to go a little bit deeper into why these things make us uncomfortable. We tend to live our lives according to values that we hold dear. For example, the top 3 values of The Salty Blossom Studio are curiosity, connection, and joy. I make every decision based on whether or not something will align with these values.

Our values are concepts or ideas that make us feel worthy and motivated while giving our lives meaning. Until we sit down and think about them, our core values are often running unconsciously in the background. This week we will bring them to the surface by connecting at least one of them to our fear.

Check out a list of values here!

Step 1. What are your values?

Take a look at the values above. From a quick scan, what are your top values? What feels most important to you in leading The Good Life?

Step 2. Think about what your fear means to you, in terms of values.

Use the following statement:

<Fear> makes me feel uncomfortable because I value ___________.

Danielle's example: Danielle becomes frozen with fear when she just thinks about parallel parking. After sitting with her values, she can see that her inability to parallel park is actually a fear of not meeting the value of competence. She does not know how to parallel park. If she tries to do this, she will mess it all up. People will see what a mess she is. She will be displaying incompetence. Competence is the value that this fear is centered around. She wants to be seen as competent.

Step 3. Flip the script.

Now that you know which value is involved, how can you address the fear while maintaining this value. Fears turn into things that we avoid. We are too scared of violating a value, so we avoid certain actions. How would addressing the action (fear) actually strengthen the value?

Use the following statement:

If I value _______, then I need to address <fear>.

Danielle's example: By avoiding parallel parking, Danielle thinks she avoiding a conflict with competence, but she is actually making the conflict worse. If she really wants to be competent, she needs to get a few lessons in parallel parking, practice a lot, and then display her competence by parallel parking whenever necessary.

Morale of the story:

Addressing our fears (discomforts) is actually addressing and aligning to our values.

Week 2 Assignment

1. Work through the 3 steps above, linking your fear (discomfort) with your values.
2. Come talk to Danielle about it if you feel stumped. She loves talking about this stuff!
3. On the poster in the studio, write down the value that you are working towards by addressing your fear.